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Home Page | Top of Page

Top 5 Men in a Woman's life are:

1. Doctor.
2. Dentist
3. Coal man.
4. Decorator.
5. Bank manager.

A Doctor says to take off your clothes and spread em'.

A Dentist says open wide when you feel the buzz.

A Coal man asks "where do you want it, front or back?"

A Decorator says "how do you like it now that itís up?"

A Bank manager says "donít take it out youíll lose interest"!

Creative Pickup Lines

Now That's A Cocktail!

Top Ten Valentine Poems...

10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.

9. Our love will never become cold and hollow Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.

8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore.

7. This feels so good, it feels so right I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.

6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass.

5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!!

4. Through all the things that came to pass Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass.

3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty".

2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!

1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister, you should check out the one that I gave to your sister!

Cute Naked Hairy Pussy Laughing at You!

Important Information

In a recent On-line poll 38,562 men across the UK were asked to identify a woman's ultimate fantasy. 98.8% of the respondents said that a woman's ultimate fantasy is to have two men at once.

While this has been verified by a recent sociological study, it appears that most men do not realize that in this fantasy, one man is cooking and the other is cleaning.

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""There definitely is no harm and certainly no injury to public morals or values when the human body is exposed gracefully, and naturally, in the right setting. Nude photography is not uninhibited public sex! Yet, some up tight people probably would want to put pants on a horse."

Know Your Rights

"If the First Amendment means anything, it means that a state has no business telling a man, sitting alone in his house, what books he may read or what films he may watch."
- Justice Thurgood Marshall (1908-1993) US Supreme Court From a unanimous court opinion (1969)

The angry preacher...

The preacher rose with a red face. "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the K.K.K. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family!"

No one moved.

The preacher continued, " Do you not have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood. Remember, you will be forgiven and in our heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression!"

Again all was once quiet.

Slowly a "drop dead" gorgeous blonde with a body that would not stop rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke.

"Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Klu Klux Klan.

Um, I might have told a couple of friends you were a wizard under the sheets!